A woman in a child’s body

This morning I had a job interview (surprise!) and the woman who interviewed me asked me for my birth date and when she found out I was only twenty she said; “Wait, what! Are you only twenty? I can see that you’re young but you seem like you’re almost thirty!” 

I answered; “I get that a lot, but in my mind I was born a thirty year old and every year when I grow older I feel like I become more and more like myself”. 

That what it’s been like my whole life. I know it might seem like I’m trying to brag about how mature I am, but really this has been an issue throughout my whole life, and it’s only now it has started to benefit me in life.

As a kid I was very awkward, and found it very difficult when my friends wanted to play. Playing seemed silly to me, and I didn’t know how I was supposed to act.

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When I was in middle school I spent more recess time indoors with the teachers than outside with the other children. I didn’t know how to communicate with other children and felt more comfortable around other adults.

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In high school I was left out for a long time because I couldn’t relate to other teens. I was uncomfortable with the jargon and didn’t know how to be fun and relaxed.

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My whole life has been a struggle to “act young” and trying to imitate the people in my age to try to fit in. That’s why growing older is the best thing I know. Today I have a lovely boyfriend and amazing friends, who all love me for the little adult in me. Who think I’m funny when I tell them I’ve been drinking coffee since the age of thirteen and has appreciated a good red wine since the age of eighteen. Who accepts that I fall asleep at 9 pm during weekends and watch documentaries for fun.

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Time. Time really does fix everything.